TOPIC

Part A

Before posting on this Discussion Board, please read through this description of grief from “An old guy” on Reddit. Reflect on what you read.

The “old guy” writes:

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while all you can do is float. Stay Alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything… and the waves comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and its different for everybody, you find the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow, you will again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow, you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.” (Reddit, 2014)

In your initial post, please address the following questions:

• Is this an accurate description of grief, in your experience?
• What is an example of a “piece of wreckage” that you have or could hold onto?
• How does reading this help someone who is grieving (if at all?)

Part B

In addition, read over the helpful tips in the module. In your initial post, please answer the following questions:

List

• Three things you can do to help someone who is grieving
• Answer the following question in two or more sentences: What is something on the list that I think would have actually helped me when I was grieving and why? OR, if you have not experienced any significant grief, what is something on the list that you think would actually help and why?

• 2.

• The Communication Problem Analysis is a written assignment that asks you to write about a problem you are having in communication with another person in your life. It can be a large problem or a small one. Read through the instructions on the assignment sheet below. I have also included a Communication Problem Analysis student sample below, which should give you a good idea what I am looking for. This assignment asks you to analyze one aspect of the communication skills you have learned this semester. Please follow the steps below. See the sample for an idea how long and how detailed your answers should be.
  

  Communication Problem Analysis

  Choose one problem that you currently have with communication with one person in your life.

  THE PROBLEM

  1. Who the person is you have chosen?just the name goes here2. Briefly describe your relationship with that personYou have two questions to answer here: How do you know them? What is your relationship like?3. Describe (with examples) the communication problem you are having with that person.4. Write out a sample dialogue, a typical conversation you have had with that person that illustrates the problem you are having.it doesn’t have to be an actual word for word conversation. Just give an example of what a typical conversation that illustrates the problem would sound likename statement________: ______________________________________________________________________: ______________________________________________________________Etc.5. Choose one communication topic from this class that relates to the problem you are having and list it here.For example, it could be one of the following topics: (please choose only one).distorted self conceptself fulfilling prophecyperception checkingdifference between hearing and listeningwhy humans are poor listenerstypes of nonlisteningSelf DisclosureKnapp’s Stages of Relationship DevelopmentJohari WindowCommunication climateConfirming and disconfirming communicationDefensivenessDefense mechanismsConflict styles6. Relate that topic (the same one listed in #5) to the communication problem you have described in #3.in this section, you want to show me that you know that topic from class and what it means. You also need to show how it relates to your own experience7. How could the problem be improved?What can YOU do to help solve the problem, even if it is not you that is primarily at fault? It can be something you have learned in class, or an idea you have the might work. Don’t tell me what the other person should do, like “Bob needs to stop being a jerk.” This isn’t Bob’s paper. It is true that he is being a jerk, but what can you do to facilitate a better relationship? In an extreme case, the only thing you might be able to do is leave the relationship.8. Write out a sample dialogue, how the conversation might go in its improved form.name statement________: ______________________________________________________________________: ______________________________________________________________

  Student Sample

  The Problem1. Who the person is you have chosen? Bob Cooke2. Briefly describe your relationship with that person How do you know them? What is your relationship like?Bob is my brother-in-law. He has been married to my sister for the past 17 years. We have a cold and distant relationship.3. Describe (with examples) the communication problem you are having with that person. The problem I am having is that Bob does not seem to want to talk to me. I try to talk to him and he is busy, makes excuses in order to avoid me, walks away or simply ignores me. For example, when I was at his house for dinner last Sunday, I tried to talk to him and he told me he was busy, walked into the garage and started working on his car. He closed the door when I tried to follow him in there.4. Write out a sample dialogue, a typical conversation you have had with that person that illustrates the problem you are having. Nancy: Hey Bob, it’s great to see you! How are things going?
  Bob: I’m doing fine. I’m actually really busy right now.
  Nancy: What are you up to?
  Bob: I’m working on my car project. I don’t have time to talk
  Nancy: But I haven’t seen you in a while and I just want to catch up
  Bob: I have to go.
  Nancy: But Bob, I really want to talk to you
  Bob: Why don’t you help your sister in the kitchen? I’m going in the garage Nancy: Can I come with you?
  Bob: (walks into the garage and slams the door)

  5. Choose ONE communication topic from this class that relates to the problem you are having.Self Disclosure6. Relate that topic (the same one listed in #5) to the communication problem you have described in #3. I chose self disclosure because I believe this topic from class relates to the problem I am having. Self Disclosure is the process of revealing personal information about yourself. One of the characteristics of self disclosure is that it is necessary for relationship growth. I feel like my relationship with Bob is cold and distant because he is uncomfortable with self disclosure. We also learned in class that unbalanced self disclosure can make one partner in the relationship uncomfortable. I certainly have felt uncomfortable in the relationship due to Bob’s lack of self disclosure.7. How could the problem be improved? (what can YOU do to help solve the problem, even if it is not you that is primarily at fault).I think I may be approaching Bob at a bad time. I should ask him to go out for a beer with me on a day of his choosing so it is a time when he is not busy working on his car. I can also ask my sister if she knows what I might have done to cause Bob to want to avoid me. If the problem is that Bob is uncomfortable with self disclosure, I should certainly respect his feelings. I can also gradually self disclose a little bit about myself. Since self disclosure is reciprocal, Bob may also begin to self disclose a little bit also.8. Write out a sample dialogue, how the conversation might go in its improved form. Nancy: Hey, Bob, Its great to see you! How’s it going? Bob: I’m fine. I’m actually busy right now Nancy: Oh, well in that case, maybe we can chat later in the week Bob: I guess that would be alright Nancy: What evening works best for you? Bob: Well, Heather works late on Thursdays, so that is probably best Nancy: That works great for me. I’ll meet you at Hooley’s around 6:00 and I’ll buy you a beer Bob: Ok, I will see you then.Nancy: I’m looking forward to hearing more about your car project.